OH MY FUCKING GOD. THE SUMMER TOURISTS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED.
I am DEAD, blog-readers, DEAD. I RESURRECTED MYSELF JUST FOR YOU. BE GRATEFUL, BLOG READERS. BE GRATEFUL.
Chapter 15 opens with...
...you know, I expect Anita to fail at a lot of things. Life. Sex. Anything that isn't directly related to raising Zombies. To try to frame this story in something resembling life, Anita is about my age by now, and she's dedicated her entire life to two persuits, as have I. Admittedly writing and waitressing are a little more socially acceptable than raising zombies and killing things, but yeah. She's an idiot about a lot of things because, past the barriers of zombies and murdery pursuits, she doesn't get out much. OF COURSE all her relationships fail. How is she going to learn how to have a good relationship? Discussing sex over a dead vampire body is the kind of thing only really bizzare sociopaths do.
THAT. SAID. I would expect the women who knows sixteen million ways to kill a vampire would be able to get her vampire lover out of sunlight.
Anita spends several pages failing to do just that. Damian runs from room to room wailing and Anita runs after him not doing fuck-all to save him. Shit, if my lover were a vamp and I were prone to black out during sex, I'd have several black-out curtains handy. This would be basic first aid. Vampires have a severe allergy to sunlight. If your lover has an allergy to peanuts do you learn how to avoid peanuts? Do you keep an eppi pen on hand just in case?
To me, this scene is a HUGE sign that Anita doesn't really have an altruistic bone in her body. Yes, she rescued Damian from The Fate Worse Than Death in Jean Claude's basement....but she doesn't have any "OH SHIT IT IS DAYLIGHT" measures in place to keep her undead friends alive. I mean, am I the only person who watched The Others? You love your vampire friends who live with you, you buy curtains, and then YOU CLOSE. THE MOTHERFUCKING. DOORS.
It is amazing how many attempts at plot are based in Anita not giving a fuck about anybody who isn't Anita.
So the boys--Gregory and Nate, the two designated victims of the pard, have to pull Damian off Anita.
I don't know if I should criticize LKH for having her manly manly girl be rescued from a situation she fucking should not have been in, or if I should praise her for FINALLY giving Nate and Greg something resembling a spine.
I think I'll settle for a big fat "Fuck You."
AND THEN RICHARD SHOWS UP.
THAT CANNOT BE REPEATED ENOUGH TIMES.
OH, AND WHEN RICHARD AND DAMIAN CLASH THEY FALL DOWNSTAIRS TOGETHER AND THEN A WOMAN STARTS TO SCREAM.
END OF CHAPTER.
Richard and Damian are fighting together in the living room. Oh, and the woman is somebody that Anita doesn't know.
Please tell me Richard did not bring his new girlfriend to Anita's house to show Anita that he can live without her. PLEASE tell me that did not just happen.
The fight continues. LKH is kind of sort of good at doing fight scenes, but not really. I don't give a fuck about anybody in this situation, so I'm skimming until the "plot" shows up again.
And then Jean Claude wakes up.
...WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THE VAMPIRES.
The implication I got several chapters ago was that this was dawn. If it ain't dawn, that means that Anita and Damian and Nate had all passed out on their kitchen floor until the sun had swung over to the western side of the house. At which point Damian freaks out. Okay.
HOW DID NO ONE COME HOME AND PUT ANITA AND COMPANY TO BED? This is the clearing house for the pard. DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO BELIEVE THAT EVERYBODY IN THE PARD HAVE BEEN IN AND OUT ALL DAY AND NOBODY THOUGHT "GEE, WE SHOULD GET ANITA OFF THE FLOOR?"
So Jean Claude explains to Anita that Damian has...done things? That damn him? And Anita has to put him back together?
MAKE THIS MAKE SENSE, BLOG READERS. PLEASE.
Okay, so apparently when Damian freaked out over the sunlight his fear leaked into Anita and she sheilded SPECIFICALLY against thier bond and this totally fucked Damian over, because while he and Nate were having sex they had forged a second tri-whatever like what Anita and JC and Richard have...despite the fact that this was sold as being impossible to create and impossible to reproduce once created.
And to fix it Anita has to drop her sheilds and become completely vulnurable to the rampaging vampire's fear.
Because other people's emotional breakdowns have every right to hold your own sanity and well-being hostage.
How do I feel about this?
Anita finds out via a sheild drop that Damian is now a revenant and the only way to save him will be erotic blood play. And then the chapter ends.
This. Shit. Sucks.