Mostly because trailer music is awesome. And if it is cool it will have very little to do with anything I do.
You'll get to see it soon. Ish.
(38 frames.of things to draw. It's not even animation. It's just fucking still images that have kind of sort of something to do with each other when laid in sequence. WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF?!?)
Also remember: Dragon Breath drops on the fifth. IT WILL BE AWESOME.
Or else you will all hate me. It's kind of that kind of book.
Yes, I am stalling as long as I can. Anita and Richard are about to have sex. Of all the things I thought would happen in this book? That is not one of them. I *thought*, silly me, that the whole point of ending their relationship in Narcissus in Chains was so that Richard would be a side character never to darken Anita's bedroom door again. I *thought* that this would be...well, exactly what it was up until chapter 55. FUCK WAS I WRONG.
The previous chapter ended with the words "Enough with the foreplay, off with the clothes". Despite this, foreplay is still occurring. Also we have MANY POINTED REMINDERS that Richard does not like the idea of having sex with men. Which is pointless because Anita keeps shoving Richard into positions where he has to have physical contact with Jean Claude...unless the entire point of this scene is to do exactly that.
Which would mean we've established a character as a homophobe for the express purpose of forcing him to have sexual contact with men.
I hope I'm reading too much into it, because if I'm not, This is a level of fucked up I can't even analyze. On the one level, homophobia is not okay. On the other hand, forcing someone to do something they are uncomfortable with during sex is also not okay. And instead of these two wrongs cancling each other out in some form of karma, they merely multiply the FUCKING WRONG. This is like the Tesla Earthquake Machine of what the fuck am I reading here.
Anita then deep-throats Richard.
We dwell for a really long time on how very, very much Anita wants to choke.
Reading about psychological methods to supress one's gag reflex is not romantic. On the other hand, knowing those techniques might get me through this book.
Only I could make oral sex into a zen moment.
Oh FUCK YOU, Anita. Seriously. You are not that good at this.
...you know, there's only so many ways you can write "Go in, go out" without having it get really boring.
They take a break and I shit you not, IMMEDIATELY get back in on the "How many other people are you fucking" arguement.
This is why you don't have sex with your ex when you are both seeing other people.
Time to go back to fluffy sex. And it's Anita's turn. End Chapter.
Next chapter.
You know, sex, especially frequent sex, cannot be good for silk sheets. And despite the lack of smell descriptors (Silk has a smell, very pungent and a little on the fishy side. I happen to like it, but mostly because that smell means I'm either playing with a really fun, if temperamental, fiber, or I've just bought the world's most awesome shawl) I really doubt that LKH would have Anita on the fake stuff. I have no idea what frequent biological spills would do to silk sheets, but either Jean Claude has one hell of a dry-cleaner or he goes through sheets the way I do popcorn.
Focusing on the silk part helps me ignore how Anita is getting scared now that Richard is playing with her. Look, I get that pushing limits is good, but this doesn't have that "Let's see how far we can go" play feel. This has more of that "FUCKING WRONG" feel.
And then Jean Claude and Richard start having a fight on top of her because Anita likes to play with Jean Claude's limp manhood, and Richard doesn't like that.
Sex is now the entire point of this novel. STOP INTERRUPTING YOURSELF.
Finally they do make the beast with three backs, and yep, Richard starts in with the "You're so tight" part and...
Okay, I just snorted beer up my nose. Couple sex scenes ago somebody in the comments got the "tight" part and went "BUT IS SHE WET" and...well, I think the book heard ya'll.
“Is she wet?” Jean-Claude asked.
Richard gave him a look, and it wasn’t friendly. “Yes.”
Richard is still scared of hurting Anita, as established by him hurting Clair offscreen. Well, Anita goes all "Richard I'm not Clair, you won't hurt me," thus establishing her as the glass vagina for Richard's Cinder-penis and proving that his new girlfriend is so very wrong for him.
Hey, how's the sexy dialogue?
“Fuck me,” I said, “fuck me, God, fuck me, just fuck me. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please, please, please just fuck me.”
...okay then.
Also, Anita confirms that Richard is hitting "that spot" inside her. Up until now I thought that was her g-spot, but apparently that's her cervix.
Also, I did not know this until just now, but if a character goes down on another character, having them wonder what the other guy is doing behind their back is really fucking confusing. I had to read a paragraph three times to understand the logistics, and trust me, I DID NOT WANT TO READ THAT MORE THAN ONCE.
I screamed my orgasm around Jean-Claude’s body still shoved deep in my mouth.
It amazes me that LKH has no problem describing a body that has literally been raped until it was liquified, and yet she cannot bring herself to use the word "penis" in a polyamourous werewolf/vampire/witch sex scene.
Though if she had said "head" this sentence would probably have made the pain a little better.
The chapter closes with everyone collapsing into a, you guessed it, "puppy pile".
If the next chapter doesn't open with a call from Zerbowski I'm going to start flipping computer desks.
I am uncertain whether LKH realizes there is a difference between the attitude "I hate Teh Gheys Pat Robertson iz AWESUM" and "I am fine with the concept of homosexuality in society and the world but I, personally, am uncomfortable at the thought of me having sexual contact with someone of my same gender." Because she certainly seems to like punishing Richard for the latter as though it were the former.
ReplyDeleteThere's a spot pretty deep inside the vagina, iirc, that can feel good for some women but is not the cervix. It's something I've only heard about recently, but maybe LKH is trying to reference that? Or she doesn't know where the Gspot is (relatively shallow, like two inches in) and is confusing its placement.
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