We are halfway through this fucking book. HOW IS THIS FUCKING POSSIBLE. THERE HAS BEEN NO PLOT. NO PLOT WHATSOEVER. I don't. I just. I can't.
I should also point out that I'm loopy on cold medicine ATM so I make no promises about coherancy. (valuable lesson: Cons=colds)
The first paragraph is kind of a thing of beauty:
Philly was a pretty city, what little I’d seen of it. The visit so far had consisted of the airport and the hotel room and some amazing sex. We could have been anywhere. The cemetery reminded me that the city was in one of the thirteen original colonies. It was old, that cemetery. It breathed its age and the age of its dead. Breathed it along my skin the moment we stepped out of Fox’s car. Once, a cemetery this old would have been peaceful for me. Too old to have ghosts, maybe a few shivery spots if you walked directly over a grave, but mostly the dead here would be inert, earth to earth, dust to dust, and all that. But now the dead called to me, even through my shielding.One of the comp rules I'm bad about remembering is that paragraphs ought to be about one thing. Sentences are one to two thoughts per, paragraphs get to rock a central theme like cookies or alligators. This is a loose rule, but it's one that should be observed once in a while. So here we have "Philly is pretty". Okay. "I've been screwing too much to pay attention." Well, that's alright...but is it just me, or do we not exactly segue into "this is an old fucking cematary" as much as we do plow into it face first with no warning beforehand?
(I'm also mean enough to think that the only parts of Philly we see are a hotel room, an airport, this cemetary and a hospital are because LKH had never been there and didn't want to blow money on a guide book. But that's just me)
"Breathed" is the wrong word choice IMHO. I'd also really like an explination on why the cemetary is too old to have ghosts, which is something we never get.
Anita plays with the tombstones for a minute, then stops suddenly. Franklin walks into her and freaks out, revealing that he's got some kind of power. This will never become important for this book. I know, because I just read the whole damn thing. Fox asks her what's wrong and she lies so that Frank doesn't get uncovered as psychic or whatever.
Great.
She continues playing with the graves on a psychic level until Franklin almost loses it, and then Micah points out that she's losing control of her power tonight. Am I the only person who misses the days when Antia had her shit together? Because she was really cool back then. Micah also points out that 1. she should not add death magic to her power tonight, so no killing chickens and 2. she probably shouldn't use her blood at all, so he'll volunteer. Otherwise she might wind up raising the entire graveyard. Anita agrees with all of this, and wanders off after Fox and Franklin. And that's the end of the chapter.
I'd do more, but in all honesty I don't want to kill this book any sooner than I'd need to.
"I'm also mean enough to think that the only parts of Philly we see are a hotel room, an airport, this cemetary and a hospital are because LKH had never been there and didn't want to blow money on a guide book. But that's just me."
ReplyDeleteYou're not being mean. I've lived in PA and visited Philly many times. I never got a sense of the city from 'Micah'. Either LKH has never visited Philly, or she is just that shitty of a writer that she fails to describe what is a pretty unique city with rich character and history of it's own. "Pretty city" is a useless and bland description, and even if she was only staying in an airport and motel, she should have at least seen some of the more noticeable landmarks. How about the Penn statue? That thing is one of the most eye-catching and noticeable landmarks of Philly. It's high enough that you don't have to be right next to it to see it....besides I'd think that LKH would like to mention that statue given that it looks like Penn has a massive hard-on from certain angles (something of a joke in Philly...they claim he's peeing on the Masonic center).
But yeah, total fail, which is sad because Philly is a very old city with a lot of personality. One of my last visits there involved photography of interesting and unique spots. We ended up near the shipyard and got some really neat pictures of the massive ships there. Also...there is a Rocky statue.
...you know, I think I've seen many many photos of that from Cracked.com.
DeleteI've been to St. Louis a couple of times. I can describe the arch (awesome photo ops from below, pretty cool museam below, cool view from above but the ride to get there is SCARY. AS. FUCK. I spent the entire time white-knuckling the side of the little pod thingies they called elevators) the science museam (COOL AS BEANS and also free) the awesome trolly ride to get there, and how green it is compared to Corpus Christi. If I were describing anyplace other than Corpus, I'd go to people who'd been there and go "This, this, this and this will all be happening in your city. Where can I do it, how can I get there, and what would the scenery be like along the way." Bam. Research that would be fun and usable.
We don't even get much of a description of the cemetary. What the hell?
I'm sure you raised many excellent points throughout your review. However, I have stalled at
ReplyDeleteWe are halfway through this fucking book.
Seriously? We're nine chapters in and they've just managed to drag themselves out of the hotel room? How is this not a comedy?
Well, if you look at it from the POV of "The Room" or "Plan 9 from Outer Space" it's comedy gold...
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