Danse Macabre--chapter 10

And now we're in a bathtub.

You know, for somebody who takes a bath every other fucking chapter, Anita really has terrible hygene. Just sayin'.

Oh, and in the opening paragraph Anita poo-poos a guy having hysterics because, you know, Anita just psychically raped him.

If he’d had more guards with him, and we’d had less, it could have gotten violent, but when you’re outnumbered, outmuscled, and your master is saying, Let it go, well, Octavius had to eat it. He didn’t like it, neither did Pierce, but Haven, of the Cookie-Monster-blue hair, was voting with Auggie. They both liked us just fine.

Anita has Lovecraftian rape powers. She just freaking used them, and her side is telling one of her victims to "let it go". HOW IS SHE NOT THE BAD GUY. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE PROBLEMS HERE. HOW.

"Oh, it was a visit from the orgasm fairy. Didn't that make you feel good? WHY YOU MAD BRO?"

Good fucking God. I could see some of this as understandable, but this rape-power thing is utterly fucking oblivious. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS. HOW. HOW DO YOU MAKE THE VICTIMS THE WHINY HATERS WHEN YOU ARE THE PERSON RAPING.

By being a rapist at heart. That's how. Not kidding, not joking. Read too many transcripts for that to be funny. EVERYTHING is justified by orgasm. By your orgasm, specifically, but it's happy rapist bonus points if the victim has one too. That way you can say they wanted it. WHY IS THIS WOMAN STILL THE HEROINE OF ANYTHING?

Even Jean Claude is hiding from Anita. She starts pushing because he's got the marks shut down and she's not used to it. Then she remembers she's supposed to be pregnant, and is all like "No, no, it's cool, it's cool. Keep the marks shut down, everything is fine." Yeah, because it's all fine and dandy when you want to keep a secret.

Jean Claude is all like "...are you serious? You're not going to push? You're gonna let me have my privacy?" and it's kind of pathetic how happy he gets.

And then...Oh GOD I am so glad I'm not drinking anything tonight. I would have just spewed across my monitor. I'm laughing so hard right now I can't even fucking talk.

So Anita starts going on and on and ON AND FUCKING ON about Jean Claude's eyelashes. He's got Elizabeth Taylor's eyelashes. And then they're lace.

I am not fucking kidding.

Until then, they were just this unbelievable lace around his eyes.

I'm picturing long overlays of brussel's lace, trailing down his cheekbones and flickering every time he blinks.

Oh, and it turns out that the emergency that kept Jean Claude from the Masters room was a fight between Requiem and Meng Die over, you guessed it, Requiem fucking Anita. Because Meng De LOVES Requiem and Anita's magical va-jay-jay STOLE him and ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO ANITA'S COOTER.

Not just Anita. Her reproductive system. There isn't one thing in this story that doesn't go back to the magical vag. Plot? VAGINA. Character development? VAGINA. Pregnancy Scare? DO NOT MAKE ME EXPLAIN BIOLOGY.

We've taken a character that was interesting and kick ass and stuffed her into her own genetalia. WHY.

Anita and JC discuss why Anita won't let Requiem back into her bed.

“To my knowledge, the only man you have never said no to is your Nimir-Raj, Micah.

OH BULL FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING VOLCANODUMPING SHIT. THAT. IS NOT. WHAT HAPPENED. STOP TRYING TO RET-CON MICAH RAPING ANITA IN THE MOTHERHUMPING SHOWER. IF YOU DID NOT INTEND TO WRITE IT YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN IT. SHE. SAID. NO. MULTIPLE TIMES. THE ONLY REASON SHE COULD NOT GET OUT OF THE ROOM IS BECAUSE THE DOOR OPENED INWARD AND MICAH WAS LEANING AGAINST IT. BEGGING TO BE LET OUT OF THE ROOM CONSTITUTES A FUCKING NO.

If you want Anita to have a relationship with the asshole who raped her THAT'S FINE. Okay, it's not fine, but it's an element that you've elected to have in your story. DEAL. WITH. THAT. ELEMENT. DO NOT TRY TO WRITE IT OUT OF EXISTENCE.

Jean Claude presses Anita to give Requiem a good answer for not fucking him. There are soap operas less concerned about fucking than this series. Anita says that she doesn't have a good reason. JC says that Meng Die almost killed Requiem and Asher in front of witnesses, and he needs her to either shape up or die, and getting Requiem back is probably the only thing that'll fix it.

BECAUSE SEX IS OUR ONLY PRIORITY. RIGHT.

Anita says she has seven lovers already, that's plenty. Statistically, yes, but apparently statistics don't mean shit in this book.

Jean Claude tells Anita that in terms of mantaining the ardeur, she's acting like a woman with anorexia. And there is a whole universe of implications re: Anita having an ED that I am not going to touch because FUCK IS THAT SQUICKY.

Basically he tells her the entire fight is Anita's fault, the entire scene with the Masters is Anita's fault, and that it'll keep happening if she doesn't get the Ardeur settled and find herself a brand new blood apple. THE WORLD WILL END IF ANITA DOES NOT FIND A NEW MAN.

Also, Requiem is hunting Anita because he had a female arduer-ed lover that Belle killed because BELLE IS AN EVIL HATER COMPETING FEMALE, and now he's going after Anita because she's a good replacement.

Jean Claude then confesses that if their powers keep growing he might end up owning all of America with his penis. andtheothermastersmighttrytokillthem SO LETS EXPARIMENT WITH OUR NEW SEX POWERS.

AND THEN RICHARD SHOWS UP.

end of chapter.

I got nothin, kids.