Micah had never been a cop, but he had been at the mercy of a crazy person for a few years. He’d learned to keep his thoughts off his face, so that his old leader didn’t beat those thoughts off for him. It meant that he had one of the most peaceful, empty faces I’d ever met. A patient, waiting sort of face like saints and angels should have but never seem to.DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY DO NOT HAVE THAT FACE? Because that face is not healthy. That face is what you get when expressing emotion is not safe. Unless you're saying that religious people ought to react like long term abuse victims, in which case please go fuck yourself.
What brought this on? Well, Anita hates flying. So she gripped Micah's hand so hard she left nail marks. And he didn't say anything. So this means he love her a lot. And also he's better than the rest of you. Like. Really.
They get into a mini-fight over how Anita's bravery is "hard on the men in her life." Because how male you are is defined by how well you support your female. Right.
And then we take a break from makeup making-out to revise history:
- Micah had had about the same effect on me from the first moment I’d met him. It had been lust at almost first sight or maybe first touch.
Six months and no breakup. It was a record for me. I’d dated Jean-Claude for a couple of years, but it had been off again, on again.What about Richard? (..actually let's leave him out of it. Please.) And how does "We made it half a year" have any bearing on the nature of a relationship?
The best part is, after waxing eloquent about how fun Micah is, Anita ends the description of their love-life with four priceless words:
I didn’t like it.You know how you were going on about making it six months? Yeah. If you've been sexing it up for six months and you don't like it? LEAVE. THAT'S YOUR CUE.
I was wearing my gun in its shoulder holster but I’d been certified to carry on an airplane. Federal marshal or no, you had to go through special training these days to carry on a plane. Sigh.HOW THE BOILING BLUE FUCK DID ANITA GET CERTIFIED TO CARRY ON A PLANE? THIS IS NOT "GOOD WITH GUNS" GUYS. THIS IS DISPENSATION FROM GOD. WHICH ANITA WOULD NOT GET BECAUSE SHE HAS MORE UNSAVORY CONNECTIONS THAN A MAFIA WIFE. REALITY IS NOW UTTERLY FUCKING BROKEN.
(I know what happened here. The editor said "Uh, nobody gets to carry on a plane anymore" and LKH went "Fine. Anita got certified to carry on a plane" and totally ignored the obvious fact that the paranormal equivalent of a Mafia Don's mistress would not ever be allowed to carry, ever, peroid, bar none, do not pass go, please return to reality, thank you.)
Seriously. Unless Anita gets attacked the second she sets foot off the plan, she should have checked the gun in her luggage.
And no. She is not attacked. We just spend pages and pages and pages on the condition of Antia's lipstick and how much work it takes to fix things, and the things Antia isn't allowed to wear (black and red) and what she is (Grey) and can we get back to the fucking story already.
...one book after it became very fucking obvious that Anita is wearing stockings and a garter belt, we get a paragraph about how wonderful it is to never wear pantyhose again. ISN'T THERE A MURDER PLOT WE CAN GET TO?
If I’d known that Agent Fox had already been prejudiced against me, I might have worn a pantsuit. Too late now. Why was it a crime for a woman to look good?ONLY WHEN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING CLOTHING HABITS ARE STANDING BETWEEN US AND THE MOTHERFUCKING PLOT.
Would I get fewer rumors if I dressed down? Maybe. Of course, if I wore jeans and a T-shirt I got complaints that I was too casual and needed to look more professional. Sometimes you just can’t win for losing.OR you regress to grade school and make sure that you don't go to business trips wearing a skirt shorter than your fingertips.
Anita then contemplates having an anxiety attack because she's alone with Micah for god knows how long and that means he might leave her forever and she loves him and she needs to do deep breathing to make sure she has no freak out and she hasn't even left the fucking airport yet.
She walks out of the bathroom, Micah spends several paragraphs telling her exactly what she wants to hear, and the chapter ends.
Wow, you know, even if you took out all the problematic elements, there's no getting around the fact that so much of this is JUST PLAIN BORING.
ReplyDeleteAlso, gun on a plane? Post 9/11? No way.
I am so happy you're doing this one. I hear it's terrible!
ReplyDeleteYou know, now that you mention it, there's no way Anita would have been allowed into the marshals, grandfathering or no. Realistically, they probably should have taken away her executioner's licence, too. But then she wouldn't be able to shoot people with impunity, and we can't have that! It's such a vital part of her character!
ReplyDeleteIf I’d known that Agent Fox had already been prejudiced against me, I might have worn a pantsuit. Too late now. Why was it a crime for a woman to look good?
Being dressed like a fucking professional wouldn't help, Anita, because Fox is "prejudiced" against you because of your previous actions. And it's not prejudice if it's based on verifiable facts.