Thursday, January 30, 2014

Harlequin--chapter 35

Dolph, being Dolph, immediately goes apeshit on Requiem, forcing Anita to protect her friend from the vampires fucking with him.

Of course from Dolph's POV it's a vampire about to eat his wounded, if highly misguided, old working buddy. And there's no mention that his goals here could possibly be altruistic because he's the Designated Hater and will be until he gets a lobotomy. The surviving girl vamp is screwing with him, so his cross is glowing and he's ready to shoot everything with fangs.

It was Mercia. If we all survived, I’d ask Edward how he managed to miss her.

UH MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE HER FRIEND DIED RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER WHEN YOU KILLED SOLEDAD. It would have taken AT LEAST fifteen minutes for Olaf and Edward to get there, and I'm thinking more like an hour or two. I see my kill buddy die remotely, I'm booking it. Anita, you are not so special that your enemies will risk certain death to end you remotely. Up close, maybe, but not remotely.

Edward comes in, assesses the situation, and decides his best move is to pretend to hate vampires as much as Dolph does, just to get him out of the room. Apparently he's so good at it that he talks Dolph into handing over his gun.

At this point, Dolph is just a cardboard cut out with "Shithead" written in crayon.

Then they decide to take Requiem with them and leave Dolph in the room. Requiem quotes random poets and freaks Dolph out. Probably because quoting random poets isn't something a normal person does.

Of course we get the judgemental "Are you fucking him?" exchange that has to happen every single book. I think she just copy-pastes it in at this point. And then Dolph shows that he's actually right for once:

It took him a second, and then he stared at me. He tried to frown, then laughed and shook his head. “I hate that you date the monsters . I hate that you are fucking them. I think it compromises you, Anita. I think it makes you have to choose where your loyalties lie, and I don’t think us mere humans always win the coin toss.”
GUESS WHAT? THEY DON'T. Anita just raped HUNDREDS of shifters at once. Hundereds. Some of whom were children. Some of whom were probably babies, unless the Swanmanes suddenly stopped reproducing. If Anita could find a way to psychically rape an entire city, St. Louis would be toast. Dolph is absolutely 100% right in saying this. Only it's not that she's dating any old monster, it's that she's dating a supernatural mafia don and a couple of pretty thugs.

And then Anita fucks up and almost outs Richard to Dolph:

“I asked you once if you were dating any humans, and you said no.” I fought not to look too relaxed, or too tense. This was Richard’s world I was playing with. “You probably asked during one of our many breakups. We’re pretty on and off.”

You know, keeping the cops in the dark about your people is kind of a stupid move. So is not having a decent liason. One of the premises of my Exiles books are that the Faeries are the worst kept secret in the world. Cops and social services know ALL about them, mostly because the Fairies are highly likely to become clinically depressed and call the cops and/or social services for a crisis, and if one of 'em twists off the cops are gonna know about it. There aren't very many of them, so the general public isn't in enough danger to justify outing the fairies, while the reverse is definately true--out them and the public would squish most of them like bugs. Smart move would be for Richard to have at least ONE person relaying shit to the cops. But nope, we have to treat the police like mushrooms in this series--keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em lots of shit.

Dolph and Anita then discuss her many breakups with Richard. Why the FUCK a lead detective is discussing Anita's lovelife like this, let alone what the fuck he's doing here, is never explained. But Finally, FINALLY, LKH admits that the reason Anita broke up with Richard the first time is because he ate someone. Not because he couldn't handle her liking monsters, but because she couldn't handle him. She does not, however, mention that when she ran off she went and gave Jean Claude a blow job in the bathtub.

Edward finally prompts Dolph into asking Anita where the other Harlequin vampire is. Which makes me think that Dolph has a case open on Anita and her lovers and GOD KNOWS she's got enough shit for him to pin something on her.

Anita fucks up again and drops the girl vamps' names in front of Dolph, which makes him rant on how Anita withholds informants and evidence until she and only she can move on a case, which is 100% true. I kind of love Dolph right now.

“I trust you, Dolph, but I don’t trust the hate in you.”

...Which means you don't trust him. At all. It's a yes/no question, Anita. You can't do both.

Dolph then brings up his family and says he's come to terms with his son marrying a vampire. Anita mentions, in passing, that Dolph got so violent over this issue he nearly put her through a wall at a crime scene and trashed an interrogation office, and I think the only reason he's still got a badge is that Anita is a fed, and if Anita has to have a badge they can't kick anybody out of the club.

Anita then explains about the Animal to Call stuff that probably should be in "Supernatural Cop's Quarterly" or something, because that's major information that somebody would have told a cop other than Anita before.

They figure out in three seconds that the Harlequin vamp got out by having her Servant carry her out in a duffel bag. Edward and Dolph are better cops than Anita, they should have figured that out at the crime scene.

Dolph and Anita yell at each other for a minute, and then Dolph asks about Peter.

The UNDERAGE kid who just got seriously hurt and possibly infected with lycanthropy. You know. That Peter.

Anita should be so seriously fucked right now.

Dolph then follows up with a question on if Anita is Jean Claude's human servant, and she responds by accusing him of sexual harrassment, followed up by a bullshit analysis of how much his son loves his vampire fiancee. How the fuck has Anita managed to never get arrested? That's classic "I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER THAT" behavior. This, in turn, is followed up by a monologue of how much better a cop Anita is.

No. If you don't understand why wearing a g-string and stilettos to a crime scene is a bad deal, you're not a good cop. If you don't get why dating a mafia don compromises you as a police officer, you're a real shitty cop. And if you don't get how bringing up someone else's family issues to avoid an interrogation is INCREDIBLY shitty on your part, you're the worst cop in the world. Anita doesn't respect the job. She only cares about it because it gives her the leverege she needs to protect herself and her boyfriends' interests. She NEVER makes any sacrifices for the good of other people if she, herself, does not benefit directly.

Edward and Anita finally throw Dolph out and rehash the entire conversation without coming to any conclusions whatsoever. Then they decide that Peter needs to go home if and when he takes the shapeshifter shot.

End of chapter.

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