KITTO LAY AGAINST THE DARK BURGUNDY SHEETS LIKE A GHOST. His black curls made him seem paler. His eyes kept fluttering open, flashing blue, then shutting, leaving his blue eyes like gleaming bruises behind the thin skin of his closed lids.At no point should the word "bruises" be a part of a sexy description.
What the hell am I saying? At no point should a fake twelve year old be part of a sexy description.
Rhys stood at the foot of the bed and stared down at the goblin. “He’s not up to sex, no pun intended.”Fuck you. Fuck you for making that pun. Fuck you for writing this scene.
Merry decides she needs to get Kitto to bite her. So she takes her shirt off and shows off her pretty lace bra and the scent of her skin. Meanwhile, Kitto is pretty much out of it. Like...like drugged out of it. Like he can't understand that he's sick, he can't understand that he needs to bite her to save his own life, he can't understand anything. And Merry says this in response:
I touched his face, turned his eyes back to me. “Does it matter, does anything matter except the scent of my skin?” I put my wrist next to his face, then slid my arm slowly, just above his lips, so that our bodies touched here and there.
I don't care how old you claim he is, you describe him as a hairless, small bodied and child-like figure, and that makes this the creepiest thing I've read all year. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD EXIST.
He bites her. The description varies between dog and snake terminology. When Merry decides he's draining enough she blows in his face like a small animal. She specifically uses the word "pet" to describe the action. And while Kitto is lying in the bed "basking in the afterglow" (gag) the mirror rings. Somebody's trying to get through and they smell like flowers.
Oh, thank you God. thank you God. Thank you thank you thank you we're going to have fake show and not active sex with Kitto.
Merry and Doyle decide that it's Niceven, and Merry asks if her bleeding arm is enough of a show, and Doyle says it will be if she doesn't show pain while the wound is being dressed. Everybody dolls themselves up quickly and Doyle answers the mirror. Only it's Taranis's secretary instead of Niceven, and this probably translates to "We're so fucked", which in this book means "Absolutely fucking nothing will happen" because this book sucks.
That was the closest call we've had so far. I cannot remember if she ever actively has sex with Kitto or not, so let's keep our fingers crossed and pray that LKH mantains some brand of sanity through all of this.
Please God. Please, oh please oh please.