Danse Macabre--chapter 20

So today I started having computer issues. It overheated and turned itself off in the middle of editing (it's coming soon, I promise) and came back up an hour later. I did what I could, shut it down, went to work, turned it back on when I got home, ate dinner and went for a walk. When I came back it was down again. I panicked, figuring that my computer could now only stay on for an hour at a time, and that meant I couldn't/shouldn't use it. Except there were things on it that I needed.

I did this fun three ring circus act of trying to get my major files over to my mother's computer, which worked, and then trying to get the tablet drivers to function so I could do my artwork. I tried every USB on her thing that I could find and got no joy whatsoever. I unplugged her printer and tried that plug. No dice. Finally, on the verge of tears, I asked her if she ever had trouble getting her printer to work, hoping that maybe she had some fun workaround for non-functional USB plugs.

She said, "Oh, well the power went off, so you might have to restart it."

I am sitting there with half my art equiptment in my lap and several important files sitting in internet limbo. "When did the power go off?"

"When you left for your walk."

Yeah. There are still computer issues but they're not that bad. Also: Communication is IMPORTANT, my lovelies.

...chapter twenty consists of Anita, Micah and Nate fucking each other. It opens with blowjobs.

Again. I have issues with blowjobs. I am going to assume that Anita Blake gives perfect, amazing head every time, and move on. I do not gaurentee that I will make it through this whole chapter.

We get a memory of Belle torturing Jean Claude by making him watch sex. We are supposed to feel sympathy for Jean Claude for how bad his life is.

There's an ongoing spork of a horrible webcomic I've been reading (The spork. Not the webcomic. NOBODY should read that webcomic. EVER. I don't really want to link to it because while the spork is AMAZING, the webcomic doesn't deserve even that much press.) The author's self-insert (as in this character's name is also his internet handle everywhere) is a serial rapist/murderer and there's an ongoing plot thread attempting to redeem the son of a bitch because he's the author's self insert. The tactic the author has chosen hasn't been repentance/redemption ("Gee, I'm a horrible rapist who rapes women. I really ought to be punished for this, I feel so sorry.") but rather a "My life is worse than yours" plot thread. Yes, he rapes and kills countless women horribly, but he was beaten by his grandmother. That has to count for something, right? How about the molestation by a schoolteacher? That's got to be a "Get out of conviction free" card right there, right? I'm getting the same feeling every time Anita brings up Jean Claude (or Micah. Or Nate's) pasts. Nate's a manipulative shit, Micah's a rapist, Jean Claude is an all out amoral monster, but they all had nasty childhoods. This justifies everything. No. No it doesn't. It might explain their behavioral patterns, but it does not excuse them. Micah being tormented by Chimera does not excuse the things that he did/has done. Nate's childhood of rape and forced prostitution does not excuse how he manipulates the people around him to get what he wants. Jean Claude's overly long history of sexual abuse at the hands of everyone ever does not excuse what he does to other people. There comes a point where we become responsible for our own behavioral patterns, and that moment is when we damage someone with those behaviors--even if that person is just ourselves. We might not bear the full responsibility, but some of it is ours and it is still our job to apologize and fix things as best we can. And if you understand that these behaviors will hurt someone before you preform them? The responsibility is fully yours. Any justifications you use--shitty childhood, victimless crime, they did it first--are just so much smoky bullshit.

He kissed that drop away, and stared down at me, as he knelt in front of me. His face was fierce and full of some wonder, as if I’d done something amazing. I hadn’t. I’d just finally decided to get out of my own way; out of everyone’s way.

I can't quite put my finger on why this bothers me, but it does. It sounds a bit too much like "It's for your own good."

...apparently it is really difficult to play with three dicks at once. Also, it takes some significant logistics to gain access to the dicks' penises.

There's a moment where Nate puts his hand on the back of Anita's head to force her further down on his penis. She panicks. Nate is all hurt that she panicked. "You let me do it before..."

When he looked at me again, he was smiling, but there was still a flinching around his eyes; a shadow of that hurt. There was only one thing that would take that hurt from his eyes, I had to prove I trusted him.

LADY. TRIGGERING A PANIC REACTION IS NOT GROUNDS FOR THE TRIGEREE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR PANICKING. ALSO: YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER HAVE TO PROVE YOU TRUST SOMEONE. WHOMEVER YOU ARE TRUSTING SHOULD BE THE ONE PROVING THEIR WORTH. JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

And speaking of panic reactions, I was doing really well until we got to the discussion of taste and texture, but we're there now and it's pretty much shut me down for the night (not panic, but I don't want to go down that road tonight). Quick skimming shows that the chapter ends with orgasm and a promise to recruit men until the harem can fuck Anita unconsious. Nice.

I hate this fucking book.