So I have about ten twitter referrals in my stats this morning. I've been seeing them crop up for the last couple of days but today it fucking exploded.
Which means either I did something good, or have been particularly stupid, or somebody's back yet again, and I am just that much fun as a lolcow. As I can only find one of those twitter links, I'm pretty confident I know who it is.
But I want to make one thing perfectly fucking clear before things continue. Alright? Alright.
I suck at writing.
I know this. This was made abundantly clear to me last year. I do not self publish because I think that the publishing world has somehow missed my wonderful leet skillz. I do it because I know I am just that bad. I don't say this on the blog very often because people go nuts, but I do feel that way. If I thought for even two seconds that I had even a slim slender prayer of making it in trade publishing, I would not have self published.
Those "Why I self published" posts are not about how much trade publishing sucks. They are about me and where my head was at last year, and why even though I sell pathetic amounts of books I am so happy I could squeal. I think trade publishing is awesome, I think that's where every writer should try to go, that they should keep trying until they break, I think agents are awesome, I would still love to have one.
I also think that I don't have a chance in hell of ever getting one.
As I said when I started reviewing LKH's books, John Norman, Hubbard and Laurel K. Hamilton are awful, but they are writing gods compared to me. Their quality of writing is something I need to aspire to and that is not a compliment of them. I flog books because it's fun and my tiny tiny tiny circle of readers like it. I don't do it because I think I'm better then them. I am not. If I were, I would be really published by now.
So if you think pointing out how much I suck is something cool? Yeah, you're basically pointing at an orange and saying "Look at that! It's orange. Do you think it KNOWS it is orange? Let's point that out."
The goddamn orange knows what color it is. I know I suck.
Anyway, stick around. Enjoy reading if you want to. Point and laugh if you don't enjoy. Just...yeah, don't give me more credit than I deserve. I'm an idiot, but even I can read. I get it. The books suck. HARD. That's why I stopped wasting publishing people's time with my nonsense. And that's why all of my readers are awesome awesome people. They're patient enough to put up with me.