There are days when I hate writing. I hate every part of it. Every word, every letter. I know what I want to say and it does come out, but it all comes out wrong. It's bad when I know everything I'm doing is wrong. It's worse when I know that everything I'm doing is RIGHT. That I'm on the right track, that things are going to go great, that there is every chance that you guys might be happy when this thing is over and you finally get to read it (if any of you will) but it doesn't matter because writing is the LAST thing I want to do right now.
when that happens you keep on going, of course. Release is a satisfying thing. It's like...yay, it's over, it's done, we don't have to pick at that scab any more, we can go on to something else for a while.
But that day is a long way off right now (...okay, twenty days as of this writing. Damn countdown). In all honesty? I know what exactly one of you thinks, and you know who you are, my lone precious commentor friend. The rest of you...I don't. I don't know if you come here to read the flogs, if you come here because you read my books, if you even like my shit...I know nothing.
Well, i know everybody fucking hated This Found Thing. Which i guess is what makes me so nervious about this one. I have no idea what I did wrong with TFT and right in Starbleached, because, uh, you may not have noticed this? But I am not that great of a writer. So realizing that it can be THAT EASY to fuck things up is kind of scary. Some of you REALLY liked Starbleached...I think. (I don't know if anybody who read Starbleached is also reading this blog) and I am terrified that I'm going to mess up.
BUT! I WILL SOLDIER ON. Or, to be more blunt...I dug the goddamn hole. I can fill it back up.