Thursday, December 6, 2012

City of Bones--Chapter 20

So now we get Uncle Luke's life story. And we start off with the many, many, many unintentional implications of having ALL the main characters be either directly related to the Voldemort clone, or be his minions. Because, remember kiddies, Rowling based her Death Eaters off the SS. So these guys, by means of being a copy of a copy, are a copy of the SS too. And they have a sworn war with demons. Who have not shown themselves to be bad in and of themselves. They've shown themselves to be attached to Valentine and bad, but not bad for the sake of badness.

Hence, the Shadowhunters are racist bigots. And they built their city out of shit that repells demons. This stuff is every racist's DREAM, is all I will say.

So Luke relates how Valentine--whose last name is "Morgenstern" because referencing Satan in this book hasn't happened often enough (I refuse to google this to prove I am right, but I am pretty sure Morgenstern=Morning Star, which was one of Lucifer's nicknames.) pulled a Jonestown and built himself a cult. By being genuinely nice to people. He goes nuts over his father's death, and I have to call bullshit on that one. Clary's mother is, of course, the only moderator and CAN HEAL HIM WITH HER LOVE. He does scary things around her but not in front of her, because if he loses his beard he's up shit creak without a paddle.

Then he and Luke go hunting werewolves and Luke gets bitten, and Valentine says he should kill Luke himself, but he can't, so here's a knife, go do the honorable thing and kill yourself. Instead Luke runs away, finds the wolf pack that turned him, killed their leader and became leader himself. A couple years later Joycelen finds Luke and she's got a kid with her. No, it's not Clary. It's a little boy named Jonathan Christopher.

You know, the name that Clary was told was her father's.

And of course Valentine's cheese slides off his cracker and he allies himself with the demons--you know, the things he swore to fight against?--so that he could kill the Downworlders--you know, the things he hates because they're part demon. Makes no sense, but they steal the Mortal Cup, and I have to say it sounds like the Shadowhunters are less than security conscious, if you know what I mean.

Oh, hey, Joycelyn's son, Jonathan Christopher? he has white blond hair.

There is a fight as Valentine tries to destroy the Accords--the thing that keeps Shadowhunters and Downworlders from killing each other--and Luke beats him, and Valentine decides the very best thing he can possibly do is take the cup and go burn his house down with his son and himself inside.

Joycelyn, preggers, runs away with her unborn child who is Clary. Luke follows her and finds her in New York, and pledges himself to protect her because he has loved her since childhood.

We learn absolutely nothing from this story, except for a thing hinted at that I don't want to bring up yet.

Also, it is the whole chapter. So right while we're building up to the climax, we had to take a break and let that shit happen. Great.

I have to go change bandanges now. No snarky. Frankly, that was all so boring there isn't much for me to snark.


Someone please answer this. They have yet to develop a single positive quality.

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