Monday, December 10, 2012

Narcissus in Chains--chapter three

In the ongoing accounting of the minutae of Anita's life, we get a step by step account of how Anita tried to find Jean Claude to ask him for help. Remember, boys and girls, one of her charges, a wereleopard named Nathanial, has been kidnapped and is being held for fuck-knows-what by fuck-knows-who at a BDSM bar equipped with whips, chains and a great many things that blur the line between happy fun times and hell on earth. In these circumstances one wants to sustain a sense of urgency. You can't do montages with writing, but you can do summeries and you can cut directly to the fucking point and mantain the "oh fuck" energy of a call for ransom.

Instead, we get an account of Anita playing phone tag. Also, she is horrified to realize that after six months with no contact, her men might have moved on. 

Jean Claude finally comes on the phone and he is beautifully and coldly polite to Anita, who doesn't understand why. I mean, it's only been six fucking months since she elected to contact him.

This is the conversation in which Anita asks her vampire lover to help her find her lost leopard.

“Sarcasm is my department,” I said. 

“And what is my department?” 

“I’m about to ask you for a favor,” I said. 

“Really?” He said it as if he might not grant it.
 “Please, Jean-Claude, I’m asking for help. I don’t do that often.”

This. Goes on. For pages. To sum it up: Jean Claude knows where the club is. The owner is named Narcissus, he is a shapeshifter, and he'll keep the leopards from getting hurt too much more until Anita and the others get there.

This is the point where I'd be going "So NOW can we go to the club?" But I remember this book. I remember what happens when we get to the club. The stupidity nearly gave me a cerebral hemmorage. I am in no hurry to revisit.

Jean Claude asks Anita why she's stayed the fuck away and if she'd ever come back. Let me make one thing really clear. If I had an ex I'd chased the way JC did Anita, and they blew me off the way Anita has JC, I would not be this calm and polite. I would be like "Fuck you" followed by click. Jean Claude is supposed to be a no-bullshit man-killer scary monster, but he is being very cool and extraordinarly polite.

Anita explains that she needs to fuck him and Richard to plug up the holes the two men have made in her aura. I'm paraphrasing, of course. Jean Claude warns her that allowing him into her life will allow the magical connection they have to share each other's magic. He'll get a power boot from Anita, and Anita will probably share in his magic too.

Jean Claude having special magic is something that was never brought up in the books before.

Basically, that's the whole chapter. The conversation continues LONG after Jean Claude agrees to help Anita. He asks her what she's wearing. He asks her what she wants to do when they get there (Save leopards, kill things). He asks her why she didn't call Richard (Because he would be opposed to the "kill things" part) and then if she's scared because she's turning into a sociopath....and we have to stop there.

One of the symptoms of being a sociopath is that you don't give a fuck. The only thing in your universe is you. Other people do not matter. A sociopath would not care that they are one. They would, in fact, feel better than the rest of us.

You don't evolve into a sociopath, in other words.

So yes. That's this book so far. One chapter for a ransom phone call, one chapter for a freak out, and one chapter for another phone call.

God, this shit sucks. 


  1. So wait, she's got holes that only men can fill for her? She needs to screw these guys to heal the void in her life? She gets more powerful by having sex with guys and draining them of their precious bodily energies? Really?!

    Yo Laurel, that's kind of fucked up and misogynisty and all. Just saying.

  2. Oh Ian. You have no idea. You are not ready for how bad this is going to get.