Saturday, February 15, 2014

State of the CW

Alright. Updates on things.

First off, everything right now is in a holding pattern. The last couple months have been kind of bad for me emotionally. The last two weeks I have been BARELY able to function, and this last week has been pure, unadulterated, unfiltered hell. That's the bad news. The GOOD news is I will be applying for a sort of financial assistance...thing on Monday, which will include an official screening and diagnosis of some kind, and will probably end with me getting an antidepressant again.

I hate doing this, but it needs to be done. Badly.

Book things: We're working on it. I have no release date for anything. That said, the next Starbleached book is coming along VERY well, all other things considered, and we should hit the halfway point on the first section sometime today. I'm going to push as hard as I can this weekend, see where we're at come monday.

I am tentatively announcing another fundraiser. No set date, no set anything else, but I want ya'll to be aware of it kind of as a warmup.

I've also got a few short stories that are sitting on my bricked computer. I'll be taking the harddrive out and pulling everything off it later today so I can at least work with that stuff.

In short: We're doing good. Not great, but good.

I love you guys so much, and if there's a book you want to read, buy it this weekend and read it. Even if it's not one of mine.

OH and I FORGOT: We finished Harlequin, I do NOT want to do another Anita Blake book for a while, so SUGGESTIONS IN THE COMMENTS ARE QUITE WELCOME.


  1. The important thing is that you take care of yourself. I hope Monday goes well for you.

    I'm going to suggest So You Want To Be A Wizard? again.

  2. I miss your Merry Gentry sporks but if you are too tired of hamilton, may i suggest The Mists Of Avalon? I am curious about your religious views on this one.

    1. I think I do want to attempt a review of a more positive book. Mists of Avalon might be a good one. I'll add it to the list, and make a decision after I get Monday over with.

  3. P.S. Have you tried valeriana? In small doses it calms you so you don't have to take pills.

    1. Please don't give this kind of advice. There is no good evidence that herbal supplements are effective for mental illness. In fact, there's very little regulation on the supplement industry. Medications are often quite safe, all things considered. Suggesting someone should just take some herbs or think positive or whatever is ineffective at best and horribly insulting/dangerous at worst.

    2. There's also nothing WRONG with taking medications, as your comment seems to imply. What makes a supplement or an herb better than a tried and true medication?

  4. Good to know what's going on with you. I hope that going forward things will steadily improve. Thank goodness for writing. I find it is a great tool for keeping you grounded and occupied.

  5. I am sorry if i have insulted you.I don't think mental ilness or problems thereof are something morally wrong/shameful.I simply have no faith in the pharmaceutical industry since in my experience the adverse effects have always been more than the positive ones to make it worth the trouble. Herbs really do work in my experience if you follow the correct advice about dosage and type of herbs with only half the strain on your body than anything manufactured. I certainly wouldn't suggest that you should even if it was possible to get through everything with only a smile. Again,sorry if i have distressed you, i hope your health impoves with the method you think appropriate.

    1. What i wrote before i didn't mean to imply the previous poster has some problem for disagreeing with me, i merely got confused about who was the original poster,my mistake.

    2. Thanks for your concern, and I understand where it's coming from. I have tried valerian root a few times with middling success. I had better success with a couple other herbal teas (Chamomile and catnip is a favorite of mine) that help with the sleep, at least.

      The problem, however, has been ongoing for more than a few years. I believe it's gotten significantly worse over the past few months because I feel safe in my current workplace, and my brain is kicking a lot of issues up to the surface because it thinks I can deal with them now. It's not just depression. I don't want to go into all the details, but no. It's not just depression.

      What I do believe right now is that I have a fairly significant chemical imbalance in my brain that needs to be corrected. I've been attempting non-pharmaceutical solutions for the last couple of years with moderate success, but this round I don't have the energy or the drive to implement them. I've given my brain time to stabalize itself and it hasn't worked, so that means its time to get help from the pros. IF I do wind up on another antidepressant, I know from my previous experience that it'll stabilize things well enough for me to take the other steps I need to take and drag myself out of the hole. I will be very careful, and if asked for a preference, will request an SRI. It's relatively safe, I understand how those work, and I've been on them before with no ill effects.

      I also want to seek some of the counciling services this place offers, and I would like either confirmation that my brain is as fucked up as I think it is, or reassurances that no, it's not that bad.

      I don't feel that it's disrespect. I do agree with Tiger that advice to avoid pharmaceuticals can be problematic, though, as you don't always know if the person you're talking to understands when depression can be treated over the counter and when it needs professional help, or if they've got a good grasp on what the drugs actually do. When you talk about depression you're not talking about feeling tired or sad; you're talking about something more similar to scurvy, when nobody's identified the natural form of the particular "orange" our brains need to recover. Nothing I've changed in my diet or practices has helped, so I'm basically going to the doctor to get synthetic oranges.

      But I am very grateful for the spirit in which that advice was offered. Thank you for your concern.

  6. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself!

  7. I'm glad to hear that you're very conscious of what you need and are taking steps to get it. My friend did this when she started to have issues three years ago (including getting disability so she could have medicaid and money to live on). She's doing much better now and is looking forward to taking the next steps in her life, including reducing her medications.

    For recommendations: I'd say Kim Harrison's The Hollows Series, or Jacqueline Carey's Phèdre's Series. The former is an urban fantasy with a sassy female PoV that might wash the Hamilton out of your brain. The latter is set in an alternate medieval France/Earth with an interesting spin on religion. Also, both authors are really decent people.

    Goodreads for Dead Witch Walking:
    "All the creatures of the night gather in "the Hollows" of Cincinnati, to hide, to prowl, to party ... and to feed.
    Vampires rule the darkness in a predator-eat-predator world rife with dangers beyond imagining -- and it's Rachel Morgan's job to keep that world civilized.
    A bounty hunter and witch with serious sex appeal and an attitude, she'll bring 'em back alive, dead ... or undead."

    Goodreads for Kushel's Dart:
    "The land of Terre d'Ange is a place of unsurpassing beauty and grace. It is said that angels found the land and saw it was good...and the ensuing race that rose from the seed of angels and men live by one simple rule: Love as thou wilt.

    Phèdre nó Delaunay is a young woman who was born with a scarlet mote in her left eye. Sold into indentured servitude as a child, her bond is purchased by Anafiel Delaunay, a nobleman with very a special mission...and the first one to recognize who and what she is: one pricked by Kushiel's Dart, chosen to forever experience pain and pleasure as one.

    Phèdre is trained equally in the courtly arts and the talents of the bedchamber, but, above all, the ability to observe, remember, and analyze. Almost as talented a spy as she is courtesan, Phèdre stumbles upon a plot that threatens the very foundations of her homeland. Treachery sets her on her path; love and honor goad her further. And in the doing, it will take her to the edge of despair...and beyond. Hateful friend, loving enemy, beloved assassin; they can all wear the same glittering mask in this world, and Phèdre will get but one chance to save all that she holds dear.

    Set in a world of cunning poets, deadly courtiers, heroic traitors, and a truly Machiavellian villainess, this is a novel of grandeur, luxuriance, sacrifice, betrayal, and deeply laid conspiracies. Not since Dune has there been an epic on the scale of Kushiel's Dart-a massive tale about the violent death of an old age, and the birth of a new."