Monday, October 8, 2012

where the f**K have I been?

Apparently, and I did not know this until this fucking weekend, Colombus Day is a restaurant holiday. As in they all pack in and eat and my boss decides that we have to be OPEN to accomodate these days. Even though they are most definately NOT packing in, as our city is having one of it's "OH FUCK WE HAVE TO FIND TOURISTS" festivals too, and they have better gumbo.

Even better: half of our staff quit over the weekend. Including Reliable Girl, who apparently was playing games with the rest of the staff for personal reasons and then got hella pissed when her games did not work out. (PRO TIP: If you are trying to set up one member of the staff to fail, inform the other members of the staff that you asked to work a certain shift that member-to-fail is supposed to work that shift instead. Because if you ask me to work a certain shift and then don't inform me that someone else is supposed to? I show up for work. And the boss does not get half as pissed as you wanted her to get, and is just as likely to get pissed at YOU as she is at the guy you set up. Because our boss? IS SMARTER THAN YOU) So we've had to work a weekend, INCLUDING days we normally have off, two people short.

In short? I want to curl up and die. And I will not get to.

That said, I've reached the halfway mark for my book sales goal, and have given away a pretty impressive number of books. and it's only the eighth. I am still not excited, but I am hopeful, boys and girls, hopeful and happy that at least I can give away my books. (Over seven hundred copies in one week. Four hundred of which happened in just two days.)

Planet Bob, the next Starbleached book, is almost completely drafted out, and I'll be starting on the next Exiles book soon. And so I have decided on the project for this November, because writing my ass off and working are just not enough.

Ima gonna do a book trailer, kids.

You have no idea how much this excites me. I fucking love trailer music, and I am cussing there because toning it down for the sensative just does not emphasize how awesome trailer music is. Tired? Listen to trailer music. Bored? Trailer music will wake you up. Have a concept that's just so freaking boring it'll put toenails to sleep? TRAILER MUSIC. TRAILER MUSIC TRAILER MUSIC TRAILER MUSIC FTW.

So for now, I am shopping for cheap, GOOD animation software and royalty free music, the latter of which I have found for amazingly cheap, considering, and am Planning. It will be...uh, kind of animated. In that still pictures that I have drawn will move across the screen in imitation of real animation (I am not now and will never be an animator) and there will be TRAILER MUSIC, and if I am any good at all it will be out by December. Why am I doing this?

1. I WANT A BOOK TRAILER. It is a thing I will do purely for me. Not for marketing (Who the fuck is going to look at it? Other than you guys, and I love you I love you I love every single one of you...but I kinda know I can count you guys on all the pennies in a dollar and still have enough for a gumball machine. No offence intended) not for gathering readers in like flies. I will do it because I. WANT. A. BOOK. TRAILER.

2. I am practicing for when The Novels come out. Because these little books I do? Are fun. But they are not, you know, everything I got. Exiles are building up to something major, my friends, and the one of you who have read the first Novel (remember it?) should have a vague kind of idea where this train is heading. And there is also Project: Dragon to consider. So I will be testing the waters ahead of time to see what the best ways of doing things are. I have made no plans for Project: Dragon but I've got every fucking minute of the Exiles Novel (not the name! But the name will be revealed later, later, later) trailer in my head, I've got the music picked out, I know where to go to get said music, I don't know how much it will cost, but I am assuming quite a bit and so I am saving up for it BECAUSE I WANT THIS THING TO BE. I've had to settle for a lot with this project, boys and girls, INCLUDING self-publishing (Oh, I wanted professional publishing so bad I could fucking taste it most nights, but that's another story for another decade) INCLUDING giving away truckloads for free and de nada for cost, so you know what? I'm getting the Book Trailer Of My Dreams and I do not give ONE SOLID FUCK how much it costs.

So Book Trailer! Coming soon! Yes!

And I'm still alive! Peace. Out. 

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