Thursday, February 12, 2015

Stroke of Midnight--chapter 25

Okay, my lovelies, business first:

I've been light on blog posts lately because I've been working on scripting and making a video for Patreon. Which should be cool. I've also been attempting (emphasis on attempt) to build up my twitter, which is over here. And trying to get the motherfucking book finished, which it isn't doing.

Second thing: I've been reading Atlas Shrugged in my spare time because I want to see what all the fuss is about. Well, replace "reading" with "struggling through" and you'd be there. No, it's not that the writing is particularly difficult--Ayn Rand is actually a pretty good writer in the sense that she puts words down on paper and they're rather a pleasure to read as long as you ignore the fact that the subject matter is batshit fucking insane. And that it drags on like a motherfucker. And that the protagonists are basically a bunch of fucking terrorists deliberately attempting to destroy society because the world pointed actual responsibility at them and they found it rather scary. (Also: EVERY personal or romantic conflict in the book, and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE, could be resolved by learning how to set some fucking boundaries. Just saying.) It really ought to be titled "Strawman Suffering" because as far as subtlety goes it's about on a par with Captive of Gor.

My point? I'd much rather be reading about how awful social responsibility is and how it's cool to cheat on your marrige and hide it from your spouse because CAPITALISM than read Merry Gentry's whinging today.

BUT! We must push on. And so...

We drag in yet another random Faerie male who I swear to God has not been in this book before now. I know this, because we get a paragraph on his looks. We also know he's a bad guy, because if he were good that'd be several paragraphs, and one of them would be on his Sparkley-Sue eyes.

Apparently he attempted to put a spell on everyone with mortal...however mortality works, since apparently you can have human blood and be immortal unless you're Merry. He makes a big deal about how it got Merry and would have gotten the cops if it weren't for you stinking kids--I mean, glamourous boy toys.

(Frankly I think a cross over between Merry and Scooby Do would greatly improve matters.)

So then Andais decides to make the leader of both the current would-be assassin and one from the last book decide who gets killed for trying to kill a princess. So there's the whole "mercy" thing out the window.

The guy, being of roughly the same mental caliber as every other character in this book (that being very low) decides to blackmail the motherfucking Queen in front of the motherfucking court to get out of making the choice. 

Guys, I have seen maybe three things IN MY LIFE as stupid as this shit. One of 'em was the Republican party the night of the Wendy Davis filibuster, one of 'em was a foster kid mouthing off to Dad when he was feeling creative, and I think the third one was something involving Anita Blake.

The woman is a no-holds-barred psychopath who has PUBLICALLY ADMITTED to losing touch with reality, who tortures people for fun. WHY ARE YOU ATTEMPTING TO BLACKMAIL HER.

And then LKH does something that breaks her entire premise that I actually really like.

See, there is one good way to defuse blackmail: Own your shit in public. Not only does that take the power away from the blackmailer, you can now go to the authorities and own their shit too. Because blackmail is usually illegal. And in this case, probably fatal.

The one thing that neither Sidhe ruler is admitting right now is that they are infertile, because that's grounds for being forcibly removed from power (And is probably fatal).

Andais now announces this to the entire world.

"I'm infertile, Meredith...all those human doctors have done all they can for me. This is why you must prove yourself fertile. Whoever rules after me must be able to bring life back to the courts"
On the one hand: this is a gutsy, gutsy move from Andais. Not only does it take the wind out of Idiot Leader's sails, but it sets her up to be deposed and sacrificed in a fertility rite. So on the one hand, the stakes just got WAY raised. On the other...yeah, there ought to be a total riot now.

There is not.

So then, in a twist that is really, really fucking good (Seriously. WHERE HAS THIS PART OF THE BOOK BEEN AND WHY WERE WE NOT READING THIS.) Andais gets Merry to admit that she got Maeve Reed pregnant via a fertility rite and that Galen was her "green man" (AKA male god stand-in). And people are trying to kill Galen because he's proved that he can get Fae preggers so it stands to reason that he might get Merry pregnant, and since trying to kill her failed...

THEN Andais points out that there's a prophesy that a "green man" will bring life back to the faerie, and that by trying to kill Galen, Idiot Assassin MIGHT have doomed the Faerie race to infertility, forever.

I am flabberghasted that this is here. This is...good. This is plot. This is game changing plot, and it's tying in plot points from other books. WHY HAVE WE NOT BEEN DOING THIS FOR THE LAST TWENTY YEARS? Why do we only get two chapters that are, gasp, actually worth reading? 

And then it descends into suck again.

Andais tells Merry she can help Nicca and Biddy make their baby, as long as she has sex with them individually before they have sex with each other. And then, when Merry presses for more information, Andais literally says "Go make babies."

In short, Andais is telling Merry to go get fucked.

I'm kind of in love with Andais now. 

Merry then tries to pull Halfwyn out of the room. In the process, it comes out that she's never lost her ability to heal but that everybody thought she did because Cel is an asshole. Then it comes out that Cel lied to his mother and said his guard had all given him oaths of service of their own free will, and that he lied to his guard and told them his mother ordered them to go to him, and that none of them are oathed to him as guard.

Andais, predictably, flips her shit. And then, because continuing with interesting plot is too much work, she sends Merry and her entourage out of the room so that she can start hurting people.

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