Wednesday, March 18, 2015

State of the CW

Yeah. So things happened. And I did some things in response to those things that happened, and the results? Are things I'm pretty happy with. You guys are without a doubt the freaking awesomest group of people who ever awesomed. And yes, I know those aren't words. It's my blog. So there.

Which brings us to the topic(s) at hand: the next book. Specifically, Part 2 of Iron Bars, Ivory Scars.

It's still coming. I want one last edit-through and then we're setting some dates. And then there's one more third after that. And then I need to girl up and fix the very outdated Publishing schedule and try to be better about keeping my promises.

One factor--a big one--is that I allow writing too much importance in my life and I have very little balance...which means that when I fail at a goal, I don't have anything else to fall back on. When my writing is good and I fail at everything else? I'm cool. When the writing's bad? Well, you've seen how the last year's gone.

I took a couple major, major hits last year that I have not talked about at all, and it knocked a lot of the wind out of me. I didn't have the reserves I usually had for writing, and that touched off a really, really nasty tailspin that probably is not even done.

The only thing that's fit well, and I hate using it because it's intended for chronic physical illness and not "CW forgets her pills again", is Spoon Theory. I've worked far more demanding jobs than the current one, but the timing and the nature of the workload means I...get nothing done. By the time I get home I don't want to do anything except lay on the couch and fall asleep watching cheesy netflix movies. Some nights its too much trouble to even pick out a movie. I handed the article about Spoon Theory off to my mother so she could use it with her patients...and we both just kind of wound up using it ourselves. The other day she asked me why I didn't switch my bank account from a very inconvenient one to a far more friendly company here in town. What I thought about was changing cards, getting KDP/Amazon to start talking to a new bank, finding all the services I want to keep and telling them about the new debit cards and new banks, and what would I do when I forgot about something...and all I had to say was "No spoons." Making phone calls and filling out forms sometimes feels so herculean and the easiest thing is just to roll over and sleep for five more minutes. Five more. Five more.

And then it's time for work.

You guys have been amazing and supportive, and hopefully I'll pull out of this soon enough and start rewarding you for your loyalty. Have a great day, my lovelies!


  1. I have to challenge you about spoon theory. Depression and mental illnesses in general ARE physical illnesses. Your mind isn't separate from your body. For example seratonin isn't just about mood. It is also critical to the functioning of your GI tract, your appetite, smooth muscle function and more. I appreciate how thoughtful you are about appropriating things that aren't yours, but some things ARE yours. Spoon theory imo is for everyone struggling with a disabling, chronic illness.

  2. Seconding the spoon theory comment. It's been used for years to describe the experience of people with a lot of different kinds of chronic disorders, not just physical.