Thursday, June 12, 2014

Seduced by Moonlight--chapter 21

We're introduced to a brand new guard. He's a hunter-deity. Also obsessed with biology, which I find actually kind of cool--hunter wants to understand the hunted and all. However, it's just an excuse to kiss Merry's ass:

 He was also the only sidhe to ask me what I’d do with my degree if I hadn’t been Princess Meredith.
Probably the same thing you would have done if you were Princess Meredith: exactly jack shit. See, when people want something badly enough, they do the thing. Merry wasn't valuable to the royal family until very, very recently, and Andais would probably have liked nothing quite so much as Merry working very, very far away in someplace like Africa or Antarctica cataloging tiny bugs or cold water clams. But Merry didn't pursue her generic biology degree into something more significant, choose a specialty, or elect to work in a biology-related field once she got out. She got a biology degree the way people get a degree in business. It's not that you actually want to study something as a career, it's that you want to get to say you have a degree so you can get hired.

So there's no tragety here. Sorry.

By the way, have I mentioned that LKH has a biology degree?

Ah, but she had to hide from Andais. That's why she became a detective, rather than a zoologist. Andais would check up on her degree.


So we get yet another guard and--

When he was close enough for me to see his eyes, I had that moment of dizziness that his eyes always gave me. His pupils were petaled layers of red, blue, yellow, and green, like a multicolored flower.
Also: his irises might be multicolored pony princess flower petals, but if his pupils are that opaque, the dude is blind.

Nice use of your biology degree, Laurell.

This dude is Amatheon, and he's Cel's friend. He refused to come to Merry at first, so the Queen did something horrible to him: she cut his hair.He has to touch the ring and see if he and Merry are a fertile match...or else.

It takes four pages for him to get to Merry. Six pages later, he still hasn't touched the damn ring. Instead, we've introduced two more guards, one of whom gets a solid two-kindle-page paragraph about how pretty he is. They all ask to touch the ring and finally, as the chapter ends, Merry holds out her hand.

Next chapter: Usna, pretty boy of the long-ass paragraph, reacts to the ring. Merry gets another man. It's kind of approprete that this one came from a magical cat, seeing as how Merry's collecting them. The drunk dude from a chapter or so ago also reacts to the ring. It reacts to the next guy, but when the nice guard that Merry's known from childhood touches it, it stays cold. Because God Forbid we get one actual nice, congenial person in this mess.

And of course, it reacts to Amatheon, who makes it clear that he'd rather sleep with an actual dog than Merry, because she's part human.

Yes. It's so horrible being mixed magical races.

Guys, I'm sorry for the sarcasm, but the fact that there are no real world races in this book kind of makes the "fairy mixed race" thing kind of hollow. You get to pretend real hard about saying something worth the paper it's printed on, while simultaneously continuing the exclusion you're claiming to fight against. It's not enough to use pretend races. You have to find a way to get the real ones in there too.

They bring cloaks for Sage and Nicca, even though I could swear Sage and Nicca had cloaks two chapters ago. They roll the drunk over into a corner and throw a blanket over him--I'm serious--and head out for the press converence. End of chapter.

We spent one whole chapter touching rings and describing the resulting orgasms.

This book will never have a plot. Ever.

There isn't enough booze in the world.


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