I have uploaded Silver Bullet onto Amazon.
Weirdly enough, it doesn't feel much like an accomplishment. It feels like I just compromised just about everything of value to get...well, de nada in return. Maybe that will change, but...
...to be absolutely honest, I really don't have much confidence this will work. I think right now, what I feel is just the crash after a great project ends. But...in reality, when I look at my track record, I've never been really successful as an anything. Am I good at things like art and writing? Yes I am. Have I ever been paid for doing art?
Twice.
Have I ever been paid for doing writing? No. Not. Ever.
I'm a pretty devout Christian. I've taken some fun detours, but I still come back to the basics every time. And not too long ago I prayed that God would either give me what I wanted--a career as a writer--or cauterize the wound closed so that I could move on. And as I've moved forward, this project has felt less like a thrilling adventure and more like, well, a wound being cauterized.
So maybe that's what the point of all this is. For me to learn to give up the crazy ideas like "career" and "income" when addressed to writing, and move back to the safer, saner stuff. Like "hobby". Which is an ugly word, but...well, I want to enjoy writing again. I want to enjoy being me again.
Ah, well. I'll let you guys know when the book goes live.
Being paid is not what makes you an artist or a writer. Making art or writing is what does that. Thomas Kinkade is not a better painter than Vincent Van Gogh just because he gets paid and Van Gogh died broke. You do not need a corporation to validate your work.
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