Tuesday, May 25, 2010

After extensive research ...

... on Wikipedia and Fandom Wank, I have come to two conclusions:

1. If I had watched Lost from the beginning instead of giving up halfway through season two, I would have been sorely disappointed several evenings ago.

2. J.J. Abrams is terminally allergic to closure. TERMINALLY. What the hell, dude, you've made a series where EVERY SINGLE EPISODE is open-ended INCLUDING THE FINALE, a monster movie that just ends, it just freaking ends, the people are hiding under the bridge and the sirens go off and there is fire AND IT JUST FREAKING ENDS, and a pretty good Star Trek movie that reboots the entire series and means that we get no whales, Khan or Jon Luc Picard (or Weasley Crusher, which might not be a bad thing). The Bad Robot can do whatever it wants OVER THERE. If you come within six feet of any of my favorite books I will beat you with a cardboard cut-out of the Statue of Liberty's head.

Also ... making the Smoke Monster a human was a really cool plot twist, totally and completely up my alley, and I would have watched the whole show religiously IF YOU HAD REVEALED THIS IN SEASON TWO.

What we writers can learn from Mr. Abrams is ... give your readers closure, and answer a couple of questions before you introduce new ones. You can have questions that never get answered (Ie, is Sunshine really a bad magic/demon cross? Will Sunshine fans ever get to know what kind of vampire Con was? Will Robin McKinley ever write a sequel to the awesomest book ever?) but you have to answer a whole lot more (will Sunshine get out of the chains? Why does the wound on her breast never heal? Will she and Con ever have sex? Okay, the last one isn't answered on screen but given how hot and steamy that ending was, if Con doesn't finish what he started Sunshine will kill him with a breadknife) to get away with it.

If ALL of the questions I had over season one don't get answered until SEASON EFFING SIX, I stop reading/watching/begging and go do something productive with my life.

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