tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3350096535937978369.post2086336684040656413..comments2024-01-09T18:40:53.465-08:00Comments on Ramblings of a Creative Double Dipper: The Harlequin--chapter 11Christwriterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17590823821715820817noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3350096535937978369.post-45034112504651482382014-07-11T12:14:59.431-07:002014-07-11T12:14:59.431-07:00Rather than discuss how messed up Nathaniel is (be...Rather than discuss how messed up Nathaniel is (because DEAR LORD is he messed up), I'm going to focus on how, once again the reason Anita and Richard's relationship didn't work out is all Richard's fault, even when it very clearly is Anita's. It's not mutual, it's not complicated, it's just Anita being unwilling to accept that anything could possibly be her fault.<br /><br />I can't help but wonder if LKH does the same thing with her first marriage - it couldn't possibly have fallen apart because of anything *she* did, because she's perfect and awesome and wonderful! No, it's all because her ex is horrible and the complete embodiment of everything bad in the world.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3350096535937978369.post-66944086748002924042014-01-08T21:58:36.783-08:002014-01-08T21:58:36.783-08:00"The idea that wanting to be in this lifestyl..."The idea that wanting to be in this lifestyle means you abdicate your body autonomy sounds like utter bullshit to me."<br /><br />It can mean that for some people. Not a lot of folks even do this, go this far, but it is out there and there are 24/7 slaves who will say they are happy. I've been around people who I thought were doing it in a responsible fashion, and people who I thought were borderline criminal. It's edge play for a reason. Tiger Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17314304221425930905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3350096535937978369.post-86967294628864887002014-01-08T21:56:52.405-08:002014-01-08T21:56:52.405-08:00I mean, that is basically what I was trying to say...I mean, that is basically what I was trying to say.Tiger Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17314304221425930905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3350096535937978369.post-21983711658659222902014-01-08T21:51:13.879-08:002014-01-08T21:51:13.879-08:00In case you haven't noticed, I find Nate's...In case you haven't noticed, I find Nate's dynamic as a sub REALLY creepy. ALL of my red flags are going THIS IS NOT OKAY and I'm having a lot of trouble articulating why. <br /><br />I think that you CAN do this kind of lifestyle healthy, or at least do it in a way that won't damage the participants more than they might already be...but this CAN'T be how you do it. Especially if the relationship dynamic changes--even if you want to have a slave lifestyle, you still deserve the right to go "Not cool" and either back out or re-negotiate terms. I mean, people change, and sometimes change really rapidly. I mean, if you're in that lifestyle and your dom relapses on a drug or alcohol, you ABSOLUTELY have a vote on if you stay in the relationship (and my vote is GET THE FUCK OUT because nobody should be doing slave-play with an active addict. They will not respect your boundaries and you will not be safe anymore.)<br /><br />The idea that wanting to be in this lifestyle means you abdicate your body autonomy sounds like utter bullshit to me.Christwriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17590823821715820817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3350096535937978369.post-76918727193212322572014-01-08T13:57:54.634-08:002014-01-08T13:57:54.634-08:00Because if someone were a lifestyle slave, as in n...Because if someone were a lifestyle slave, as in never or almost never breaks the submissive/dominant hierarchy, I could see them saying things like "I don't get a vote." In that kind of relationship, they don't. But it's all agreed to beforehand, and imo anyone who is responsible is open to contract negotiation even in a 24/7 arrangement. Tiger Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17314304221425930905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3350096535937978369.post-5585737230432492722014-01-08T13:56:31.773-08:002014-01-08T13:56:31.773-08:00I think what LKH is going for regarding Nate is so...I think what LKH is going for regarding Nate is some kind of 24/7 slavery arrangement, or consensual nonconsent. I just get the impression that she hasn't done much research on those things and is going off of what her handful of friends who dabble in BDSM think they know about edge play, which apparently is almost nothing. Tiger Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17314304221425930905noreply@blogger.com